“I kind of feel like sorry isn’t good enough.”
Those were some of the first words out of George “Nathan” Stang’s mouth during his sentencing hearing on June 5.
For the last year and a half, Stang has been working through a “wake-up call,” he testified. On Nov. 13, 2016, he vandalized St. David’s Episcopal Church with spray-painted hate speech.
Stang testified that he had been battling depression and was not seeking continuous counseling when he drew a swastika and wrote “Heil Trump” and “Fag Church” on the place where he worked as an organist and choir director.
Last April, he told Brown County Det. Brian Shrader that he wanted to “mobilize a movement” and make everyone feel as “scared and lonely as I did” after the election of President Donald Trump, but he didn’t plan for the vandalism to generate the amount of attention it did. The incident received worldwide media coverage.
Last September, Stang submitted a letter to the Brown County Democrat in which he admitted his guilt and asked for forgiveness.
Last week, he was sentenced to serve 363 days on probation and complete 300 hours of community service, no less than 20 hours per month.
He was also sentenced to 180 days in the Brown County jail, but that sentence was suspended except for two days, for which he already served.
His volunteer work has to be done for a charitable or religious organization, with supervision. He didn’t have to pay monetary restitution.
Judge Judith Stewart said she believed Stang was sincere in his remorse.
“When social or political or societal forces that are in our lives, when they frighten or, as one of the witnesses said, make you feel embattled, it’s so important to remember the answer has to be (to) live our lives as example of the values and principles we believe, and not to amplify the very concerns you want to impose, or some other force wants to impose,” she said.
“You have to live you life as a way that is an example to others.”
Stewart encouraged Stang to make up for his actions with his community service and that she hoped he would be able to reconcile with St. David’s.
“A lot of good people have shown compassion for you, and I think it’s incumbent on you you learn from this and make sure you never let yourself do that again, and that you go forward showing that kind of compassion to other people,” she said.
Showing compassion
Stang testified that one lesson he learned is that if he doesn’t manage his mental health, not only will he suffer, but so will those around him.
He said he’s learning skills to manage his emotions when he goes into a “dark place,” such as when he decided to vandalize the church.
“I thought asking for help was weak and silly. I was surrounded by people who would have helped me if I had asked, if I knew how,” he said.
Four members of St. David’s testified. Each said that there should be a consequence for Stang’s actions, but that they did not want to see him serve time in jail.
“I think the reason everyone was so surprised Nathan did it is because it was not at all the Nathan that we knew. It was completely out of the blue, not at all the character of the sort person we would have expected,” Jim Huber said.
Some “forms of good” followed the incident, Huber said, including a huge show of support from the community, other churches and from all around the world. Nearly 200 people showed up to help remove the graffiti from the church.
Stang said he learned about the negative impact his actions had on multiple communities, from the Jewish community, to the LGBTQ community, to the Brown County community and the St. David’s community.
“I’ve also learned there are lots of wonderful community leaders who are willing to hear out someone like me, work with me, give me a second chance,” he said.
“It makes me feel sillier for not looking for help.”
Stang is now a part of the Canterbury Fellowship, the worshiping congregation of Canterbury House and the Episcopal Campus Ministry at Indiana University.
“I learned the way my depression works makes me feel isolated and lonely. Having people to check in with and to see on a regular basis, that really helps,” he said.
Janis Benham served on the personnel committee when Stang was hired. “One of the things that shocked me (after finding out it was Stang), was how did we not make him feel comfortable enough that he felt safe with us? Given his letter, that wasn’t the issue. It was the (wider) environment with all of the rhetoric,” Benham said.
Church member Jan Holloway told the court that incarceration would be “counterproductive” because it would take him away from the work he is doing for charities and the Canterbury Fellowship.
“If the point of jail is punishment, I believe given the remorse we have seen and the sorrow Nathan has expressed in various media and to various individuals and the depth of that I felt from him, he’s lived in a prison of his own making for the last 18 months,” she testified.
“I know Nathan as a sensitive, moral, ethical, loving person, and I think removing him from the circles in which he can express his personality and gift would be a waste.”
Wake-up call
The Rev. Dr. Linda C. Johnson, the Episcopal Chaplain to IU, invited him to get involved in the Canterbury service. He is now a regular member in worship and in action on the IU campus, she said.
“A stable community is important to Nathan, just as it is to all of us. We need to be grounded somewhere — somewhere in a place that is safe, that we can trust, rebuild fully who we are,” she said.
Prosecutor Ted Adams asked the judge to sentence Stang to 335 days in jail with 30 days of it actually behind bars, along with 200 hours of community service.
Adams argued that the biggest aggravator when considering Stang’s sentence was the “intangible harm” his act caused.
“We’ve had a lot of folks talk about rhetoric. Hate did play a major role in this crime. (Stang) was motivated by fear and distrust. That is exactly what happened to our community … intangible harm that did create hate, distrust and anger towards neighbors in our community,” Adams said.
Adams argued the local economy was also impacted because of the worldwide coverage the vandalism received. “It was embarrassing to our community and it hurt our brand,” he said.
Stang’s lawyer, Joseph Lozano, argued that Stang does not have a criminal history, that he would respond well to probation, and that he has taken responsibility for his actions, including submitting apology letters to newspapers against his attorney’s advice.
“He wanted to go speak and apologize to others. I always had to rein him in on that,” Lozano said. “I had to look out for his best interest. That shows a lot about how remorseful he is.”
After the hearing, Verne and Phyllis Sindlinger spoke with Stang for the first time since the vandalism. “Nathan really wants to have a chance to meet with the St. David’s folks and have a conversation that we’ve never had,” Verne Sindlinger said.
“Just to put an end to what had happened was important,” Phyllis Sindlinger said.
“But I think it’s also important to begin a new relationship with Nathan, and I think that’s a healing sort of thing. … We gave him a hug and wished him well. When you can do that, it’s a freeing sort of thing. It lets you release all the feelings that have been pent up over the last year.
“Things are going to be OK,” she said.
