For most people, the holidays mean time spent with loved ones, shopping for presents and basking in the warm lights on the Christmas tree.
But for others, it’s a time of struggle.
Some have lost people who matter most, to illness, an accident or a breakup. Others may have lost jobs and are stressed about money.
There is hope for those who struggle. On Wednesday, Dec. 21, members of the Nashville United Methodist Church will host a “Longest Night” service for a second year in an attempt prove that.
For Nashville couple Bob and Chris Kirlin, last year’s service was the source of strength, hope and courage they needed.
Chris lost her father in June, and at Christmastime, the couple was in the middle of a six-month stretch of traveling back and forth to an Indianapolis hospital to visit their son, Chuck, who was battling a brain tumor.
“When we left that service last year, it was like, ‘I have to be involved in this.’ It touched us because we were in such a hard place and we had always done huge Christmases. We didn’t have a tree or anything (last year),” Chris said.
“I feel like the reason we went there that night was because we just needed that. We left there in tears, but it was an amazing feeling to know that there were other people who were in the same situation. This service kind of you gives you a lot of hope, gives you courage and strength.”
Chris’ mother, from Cincinnati, also attended last year. She now lives with the couple in Brown County after her husband passed away.
“She was also going through that same thing last Christmas only a little differently. Dad had passed and we were still in the middle of our journey with Chuck,” Chris said.
Chuck Kirlin passed away Jan. 24 at Methodist Hospital.
This year, Bob and Chris are involved with planning the service because they want to give back to the community that gave so much to them during their journey with Chuck.
Chuck taught at Van Buren and Helmsburg schools in Brown County.
During Chuck’s last six months, the Kirlins received offers from fellow Brown Countians to walk their two Cocker Spaniels every two hours; they would come home to food in their cupboards and refrigerator; and they received gift cards.
“Now, we’re returning the favor, and it’s very important to us to let people know there is hope. There is always hope. You just have to trust,” Chris said.
Before the service starts at 7 p.m., Tammera Lane, Keith Collins and Amanda Webb will play reflective Christmas music at 6:30 p.m.
The service will include the lighting of candles and a spoken message, she said.
Those who attend will be invited to write on an ornament the reason they are there and hang it on a white Christmas tree.
All are welcome.
“It’s very low-key. If you want to cry, there’s people there to cry with you. If you want to laugh, there are people that will laugh (with you). If you want to pray, there’s people there to actually pray with you,” Chris said.
“I think one of the biggest points that I like about it is that our loved ones, or whatever we have lost, they are OK; they are good. They are whole, they are in Heaven, or whatever you believe, but they’re whole, in a better place,” she said.
“You’re never going to make it better. I’m just going to tell you straight up, you’re never going to make it better. But you can learn how to cope a little better with it and have your eyes opened and see things a little differently than you did before.”
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After the holiday parties and family gatherings are over, it’s important to stay connected to people.
According to the AARP Foundation, an estimated 1 in 5 people over age 50 — at least 8 billion people — are affected by isolation. Prolonged isolation can be as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to AARP.
Thrive Alliance is supporting a national campaign led by the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging and the AARP Foundation to raise awareness about social isolation and loneliness. The groups created a brochure on helping older adults avoid loneliness, especially around the holiday season, but the tips also could be used by people of any age.
- Nurture and strengthen existing relationships by inviting people over for coffee or giving them a call to suggest a visit or trip.
- Schedule a time each day to call or visit a friend.
- Meet your neighbors.
- Research transportation options if you are unable to drive that will allow you to stay active. Access Brown County provides low-cost public transportation to Brown County residents. Residents 60 and over ride for free. Call 812-988-0185 to schedule a trip.
- Use social media to stay in touch with family and friends, or write a letter.
- Stay physically active and consider adding a group exercise into your routine, like joining a walking club.
- Take a class to learn something new and meet some new friends.
- Revisit an old hobby and find other people who share the same interest.
- Volunteer to help others.
- Visit your local community or wellness center to become involved in their programs.
- Find spiritual engagement through faith-based organizations.
- Take on a cause in your community.
Source: Thrive Alliance
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