We asked our Facebook readers to volunteer to have some “super-honest conversations” about how their lives have been altered in the past year. The story below is part of the second installment of a three-week series.
As stay-at-home orders were set in place last March, Ryan Dodge knew that it’d be longer than a two-week quarantine.
Now one year later, he and his wife, Katelyn, have been finding the balance of being safe while still living their lives.
Both found their pandemic concern at a 3 on a low-high of scale of 1 to 5 when it all began.
Katelyn, 28, had seen on Facebook this time last year that her parents were in Hawaii. She remembered feeling that travel was risky, but wasn’t quite worried about Brown County’s safety in the public health crisis. Everything closing down had felt like an appropriate precaution, she said.
“I remember being worried for my grandparents,” she said.
Ryan, 31, felt the same and didn’t get worried, but their family still took safety precautions and followed CDC suggestions. The unknown made his level of concern a 3, and thought since people were taking it seriously, it would eventually be gone. Now, he anticipates wearing a mask for the next several months.
Katelyn said before the pandemic they’d used to spend most weekends out and about, going out to eat or going shopping, but they stopped doing as much of that.
Both have careers in social work. Ryan coordinates community-based services for adults and children with intellectual and developmental disabilities and Katelyn is a Department of Child Services liaison with Centerstone, helping clients who are working with DCS get mental services.
Ryan felt like things were normal for him from March to October as he was still going to his office for the most part, he said.
His employer said workers could do whatever worked for them. Their services were shut down in the beginning of the pandemic, he wasn’t working a full 40-hours and found himself spending less in gas every month.
With most of the services he coordinates being community-based and people not being able to go anywhere he found himself asking “What can people do?” Some clients he’d served no longer wanted services.
Then in the fall with a rise in positive cases, his employer had employees work from home. Ryan said he then started to stress.
“I didn’t look at the data all the time,” he said. “But when things in October, and later in the fall, started getting worse that’s when I said, ‘Oh, things are really bad here — we should buckle down a bit more.'”
Katelyn has been working from home since March of last year, conducting business and meeting with clients via Zoom. She was also able to stay home with their 9-year-old son Antonio when schools closed their doors last year.
“It’s great because I’m still accessible, Antonio’s on spring break and I’m still able to do everything I need to do,” she said.
At the same time, however, she misses human interaction. “It’s been weird,” she said.
She does feel that her office has handled it well, having Zoom social hours where they still try and keep connected. “We’re doing things to make it less weird,” she added.
It was a big learning curve adjusting from an office setting to working-from-home, she said she was asking herself in the beginning how much could be done from home.
“Figuring out that work-life balance, Antonio was also home from school — everything was a big shift,” she said.
Ryan said that Antonio needed the five months off of school and that being home was a way for him to grow. Ryan and Katelyn officially adopted Antonio in January of 2020 after fostering him nearly a year and a half.
A first-grader when the pandemic started, Zoom social meetings with his class could be overwhelming for him, his parents said. He did work on extra math worksheets, handwriting and more so he wouldn’t fall behind.
Antonio said he enjoyed being at home, especially spending time with his Legos. Ultimately, he handled the adjustment to being at home well last school year, Katelyn said.
He went back to in-person instruction in August.
“He was just telling us the other day he really misses us when he’s at school,” Ryan said.
Now a second-grader, Antonio was exhausted his first day back at school, his father said.
“All kids come back exhausted,” he said. “But at 5:15 or 5:30 (that evening) he was done.”
“He was falling asleep at dinner,” Katelyn said.
Being a parent and not knowing when Antonio would go back to school and what it would look like was stressful, Ryan said.
“The superintendent and her team have done a phenomenal job,” he said.
“I thought maybe (COVID) was going to get worse then in July we talked about how to keep him home.”
They knew, though, that school would be the best environment for their son, needing that stability and daily consistency.
“It felt really good knowing we were sending him to a school corporation that is doing their absolute best,” Ryan said.
“Laura Hammack is the absolute best,” Katelyn added.
In addition to finding the balance between work and home life, they’ve also tried to find the balance in wanting to make memories as a young family while also doing it safely during a pandemic.
In mid-March they scheduled a trip to Florida in July. But when July came around Ryan said they didn’t know what to do. He ended up speaking with some friends of theirs who lived there, asking their opinion.
“That’s their home,” he said. “I told them our plans. We’re going to get groceries delivered to our condo, we’re just hanging out there. They said ‘As long as you feel confident you can follow the guidelines, then come.'”
Ryan and Katelyn said it was one of the best trips they’ve had as a family.
“I maybe wish I’d done some things a little bit differently,” Ryan said. “But also we can’t let this stop us from living our lives, but we also need to respect peoples health. I do have a responsibility for keeping those around me safe. I still feel like I struggle to find that (balance).”
The balancing act continues as they try to spend time with their extended family. They’ve had gatherings outside as much as possible, trying to be safe and still keep their community.
Holidays have looked different with not doing their normal gatherings of 40 people or more. They’ve mostly met with their immediate family, Katelyn said.
“We haven’t seen my extended family since Christmas of 2019,” she said.
The Dodges count themselves lucky that their families are on “the same page” as far as pandemic boundaries. Having done things on a smaller scale and without the frequency they used to, Katelyn expressed a gratefulness for their community and misses having human interaction.
The couple said they’ve at times experienced a few “funks,” mentally and emotionally, but not necessarily because of the pandemic. They’re also in the middle of trying to sell their home.
2019 was a more difficult year emotionally, Ryan said. At that time they adopted Antonio in January and took him to Disney World. They found their normal routine as a family.
“We didn’t have social worker pressure,” he said. “Our family was just normal.”
Antonio has also responded well to the new routine of taking additional health and safety precautions, the Dodges said.
They wear their masks when they walk the Salt Creek Trail and take them with them when they hike.
When they were able to get vaccinated through their jobs, they also explained to him the process. “He understands,” Ryan said.
In addition to wearing a mask at work, both Ryan and Katelyn were able to get vaccinated as social workers.
“They paid for people to go get it, mileage and drive-time,” he said. “They really encouraged us, but it wasn’t mandatory.”
Both Ryan and Katelyn said they felt grateful for the opportunity, but experienced some guilt that they were eligible at a time when many were not.
“I felt guilty, but it was also like ‘If I can help then it’s my turn,'” Ryan said. “I should take the opportunity to get vaccinated.”
Katelyn said she had all the same feelings, but felt it was a good time to encourage others.
They’ve also supported local businesses throughout the pandemic. They said they have spent more money at the Toy Chest the past year than they ever have before.
The Dodges are looking forward to a time when the pandemic is over, but until then they continue to do grocery-pickups, wear their masks and “roll with the punches.”
Ryan looks to resuming normal life without “pandemic guilt” looming overhead. Katelyn looks forward to seeing extended family again.
“We really have been blessed,” he said. “We didn’t lose our jobs. (Antonio) has been home so much, we didn’t struggle financially, we were able to get vaccinated. When things have gotten tough, I’ve looked at the bright side.”
