By LARRY HANSON, guest columnist

Like most kids of the 1950s, I was raised with reverential awe for anything to do with the Indianapolis 500. Most of us had drivers’ names, car numbers, teams and past winners’ names memorized. On Memorial Day itself, entire neighborhoods became mini racetracks where bikes, trikes and any other mechanical transport kids had access to would race for glory with the Indy 500 radio broadcast blaring in the background.

Because activities for the Memorial Day Classic used to last the entire month of May, there were many opportunities for families to make a trip to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and see plenty of action. Those days included daily speed testing, rookie tests, four full days of qualifying, Bump Day, and usually Tom Carnegie’s familiar baritone voice over the PA system saying “aaannnnddd it’s a NEW TRACK RECORD!” There were plenty of celebrity race drivers and former winners around to sign autographs and maybe even pose for a photo or two.

My Aunt “Bo” Miller had been a photographer for the Women’s Army Corps in World War II, and after the war, went to work for Indianapolis’ Tower Studios. Tower was the official photographer for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for many years. She kept me supplied with official photos of Indy 500 drivers and their cars, feeding my fan lust for “everything Indy 500.”

Aunt Bo could not, though, get into the IMS Gasoline Alley garage area since women were not allowed there. I thought it strange that a young kid like me could get access with my dad and his brother (who served on the IMS Safety Crew) while my adult aunt could not, even to do her job taking photos. Years later, Janet Guthrie faced that dilemma when she could not access the garage area even though she was a bona fide driver, and that led to the decades-long ban finally falling.

Another long-standing IMS tradition was that no one could drive their personal vehicle on the track itself. Only official vehicles such as the race cars, pace cars and the official tour bus could make laps around the famous track. It was such a widely known fantasy of so many, that in the movie, “Winning,” there’s a scene where Paul Newman, exiting the track in his personal car, pauses at one of the gates where cars actually cross the track to leave. He looks longingly down the track and suddenly makes a quick left turn onto Turn 1, and laughs in joy as he speeds around IMS in his own car as fast as he could go.

Around 2005, a large Indianapolis-based insurance company announced to the public that they would be sponsoring “Family Day” at the track on the Wednesday before the Indy 500. Highlighting this day would be the opportunity to take your own lap around the famous Brickyard track for the reasonable sum of only $5. I heard the news on my radio while heading to work and vowed I would be one of the first persons to be there for this historic change in rules. I shared this exciting news with my work colleagues, and not one of them believed me. After all, this rule had existed since the first Indy 500, so how could such a change really happen, and for only $5?

Wednesday finally arrived, and work seemed to last way longer than usual as I anticipated what was to come later. As soon as I could, I pointed my red Mustang convertible toward 16th Street and the famous oval. I expected huge traffic jams of fellow 500 fans taking their chance to fulfill their dream of driving on the racetrack, but surprisingly, there was very little traffic. Once I reached the track, I found no signs or directions on how to get in for the drive of a lifetime. At the 16th Street entrance, I found a “Yellow Shirt” security guard to ask. He hadn’t heard of the event and used his walkie-talkie to confirm it was occurring. He then directed me to the north side of the track and said I would find direction signs there.

I finally found a sign that directed me to turn right by the Turn 3 grandstands and go south. I’d still not seen any other cars and was beginning to think that it was all made up to frustrate fans like me and dash our hopes of a lap at IMS.

Wait, there, up ahead! There was a barricade across the road with a couple of Yellow Shirts manning the station. I pulled up and stopped, and one friendly Yellow Shirt came up to me with a clipboard. “Wanna drive around the track?” he asked. “Do I!” I almost shouted.

I filled out the paperwork absolving IMS of liability without reading it, signed it, and gave it to the Yellow Shirt. He passed me back a slip of paper with a website address printed on it. “Tonight,” he said, “go check this website out and you can purchase a photo of you on the track.” WOW! Amazing! Not only would I drive a lap at IMS, but there would be photographic proof. That would show my unbelieving co-workers!

So the Yellow Shirt stepped away and waved me through an

entrance under the back stretch bleachers. I rolled onto the world-famous 2.5-mile oval and shouted in delight because I was so happy! I mashed the gas to the floor in my peppy Mustang convertible. My speedometer, which topped out at 140 mph (after all, it’s a Mustang) started climbing rapidly. I headed toward Turn 3’s empty grandstand at around 100 mph and noticed that Yellow Shirts were lining the inside of the track, spaced about 50 to 75 feet apart. They were waving and shouting, and I waved and shouted back as I hit 120 mph.

I rolled swiftly around Turn 3 and headed for the short chute. It seemed the number of Yellow Shirts had increased on the track’s inside grassy area. They, too, were waving and shouting, some cupping their hands to their mouths to try in vain to be heard over the wind and engine noise. Man, I thought, this must be what it feels like to LEAD the Indy 500. THIS IS GREAT!

I went through Turn 4 at around 130 mph and headed for the front straight. I now had a view that few people in the world had ever seen, the 500 Speedway on the way to the Yard of Bricks!

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see what seemed like hundreds of spectators, Yellow Shirts, pit crew members and more. All were waving, jumping and shouting as I zoomed across the Yard of Bricks at almost 140 mph! I really felt like I had just won the Indy 500!

I also saw from my peripheral vision, the flashing red lights of an Indiana State Police cruiser. The trooper was accelerating down pit lane and heading for the blend lane for Turn 1. Me? I just kept waving and shouting in sheer delight to the “cheering” crowd while keeping “the pedal to the metal!”

As I sped through Turn 1, only slowing slightly back to 135 mph or so, I could see the trooper’s cruiser start to enter Turn 1 from the pit lane. His siren began to “whoop whoop” loudly. Through his loudspeaker, I heard him command me to “PULL OVER!” So, I started slowing down in case there was an unknown obstacle looming ahead on the track.

I stopped on the inside of the short chute, and the trooper pulled up behind me. He opened his door and told me to remain in my vehicle. I was a bit puzzled, but complied. A very red-faced trooper walked up to the car and asked, “What do you think you’re doing?!?” “Um,” I rather dumbly replied. “Taking my lap around the track. I paid my $5.”

Although the trooper remained professional, I could tell he was very, very upset. “Did you even read the paperwork you signed?” he asked incredulously. “It very clearly states vehicles are not to exceed 30 miles an hour at ANY time! I clocked you well over 100 miles an hour faster than that! You could have lost control, blown a tire, spun out, and killed yourself and many of the spectators! This little car was never built to go that fast!” All I heard was “over 100 miles per hour faster than 30 mph!”

At that point he held up his ticket book and asked for my license, registration and insurance card. I gave them to him, still enjoying the adrenaline rush of the drive I’d just had. And I figured if he did give me a ticket, what a great souvenir and PROOF of what I’d done. He went back to his cruiser, and after a few minutes returned with my paperwork. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had any citations,” he said, as he returned my papers. “But I’m going to teach you a lesson on paying attention to directions! I want you to drive another lap all the way around the race course and keep it at EXACTLY 30 miles per hour. Go just ONE mile an hour over and I’ll write you up for speeding, reckless driving and anything else I can think of, including banishing you from IMS grounds forever!”

Well, I looked at it as, “I get to go around again FOR FREE!!!”

This time, I set the cruise control at EXACTLY 30 mph. True to his word, the trooper followed me with red lights flashing, but no siren. I turned on the radio to the daily broadcast from the track. The announcers were apparently consumed with laughter while talking about the “poor guy that got pulled over on the track by a state trooper for speeding!” As I passed folks on the inside of the track that I had earlier thought were cheering me on, they were lined up, laughing, cheering and applauding! This time I could hear their words: “Way to go! Yay for you! Bravo!” And even a few shouted, “Floor it again!” Um, nope, not this time!

After what seemed like an hour, I reached the exit. The trooper pulled up next to me. He smiled, aimed his pointer finger at me, then clearly mouthed “Behave!”

From then on, I attended Family Day every year for as long as it was held. Each year, the number of vehicles participating in driving on the track increased, making it difficult to even go 20 mph, let alone 30 (or 100 mph over 30).

Somewhere I have souvenir dashboard cards packed away certifying that “This vehicle has officially completed one lap around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway” and the date it was accomplished. I have two cards for the first year, but only a memory for being the only driver in history to be pulled over for speeding on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway track!

Larry Hanson of Brown County is the advertising director for the Brown County Democrat. He can be reached at 812-988-2221 or [email protected].