Chocolate Chipped
Now it was never my intention
when I invented my invention
to cause a riot or a strike
since what I did most didn’t like
for I had caused a giant fuss
that did include the most of us!
It seems at Christmas every year
our Government seems to have this fear
that with their rockets they might try
to shoot poor Santa from the sky
and so it is through Christmas night
they track his sleigh by satellite!?
Now bein’ just a country hick
that don’t seem right for ol’ Saint Nick
so I had found a better way
to track his reindeer and his sleigh
and so I thought it might be nice
to use a tracking type device
to follow Santa on his quest
and so I used my G.P.S.!
Now I admit that I did slip
a tracker in a chocolate chip
and in a cookie on a plate
with milk I had the perfect bait
for every bite and every swallow
I had me a chance to follow
Santa as I tried to probe
how he flew around the Globe
and in one night for girls and boys
delivered all them Christmas toys!?!
So my idea worked so well
that now I knew and I could tell
that as he sallied back and forth
he lived with Elves up in the North
but everyone is quite aware
at what they do at home up there
but here’s what we all didn’t know
in Summer he don’t live in the snow
and I discovered where he went
and how his summer days was spent!
So I thought folks would all be glad
at the information that I had
but I was cursed from head to toe
if I dared let the World know
that Santa’s summer home I found
was not too far outside our town
and on my head would be a bounty
if I told folks he’s in Brown County!
— Gunther Flumm, Nashville
